Every day, John Harris, 86, said he “fights to let go and let God” takeover. A photo of his wife and son, both who passed away to illness within two years of each other, is on display in his Bay Point Grand Residences home as a reminder of what he once had.

“My entire life I felt I’ve been in control -- managing programs and different things. My favorite phrase was, 'if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.'”

Harris was a career U.S. Department of the Navy civil service engineer for 34 years, retiring in 1997 as the Deputy Director of the Naval Special Warfare Division as Naval Support Activity, Panama City Beach. After the Navy, he worked 17 years as a financial advisor until 2014. He was also a past Commodore of the Bay Point Yacht Club.

“Now I’m a church worker,” he said. He is one of a handful of volunteers at Woodlawn Church in Panama City Beach who facilitates the nationwide GriefShare program that allows those who’ve lost loved ones to come together to support each other. Harris has been leading GriefShare classes for the past four and a half years and says the program allows him to “get through the experience [of death], because I never get over it, which I’m grateful for,” he said. He also conducts two Bible study classes.

“Since the death of my son in 2016 and wife in 2018, I have fully realized I am not in control. God is.”